For many people interacting with someone who has a disability can be a stressful and daunting prospect, especially if they have had little or no previous experience. While it is important to utilize the following steps it is also vital that you keep in mind that you are not alone in feeling hesitant during these interactions, so be patient with yourself, give yourself room to learn and to be led, and your interaction will be a success.
The first step is to position yourself directly in front of the person who uses a wheelchair. Don’t stand to the side, as some people in wheelchairs are unable to twist their bodies. Others are able to turn their bodies but doing so causes pain, which can negatively affect their ability to communicate and interact. If there is a seat handy you can sit but there is no need to crouch.
Greet the person as you usually greet people. If you are comfortable doing so shake hands. Some may not have full arms or hands or they may have a prosthetic. If you are comfortable shaking what they have than do so, but don’t do anything you are not comfortable doing. It is also your own choice as to whether or not you wish to lighten your grip. If you are unsure about shaking a person’s hand ask first.
Respect their personal space. Typically personal space is no less than 18 inches (46cm); an arm’s length is an easy way to measure personal space. Mobility aids are an extension of a person’s personal space and one should never touch a mobility aid without first asking for and then receiving permission. Do not lean on a person’s wheelchair or put your hand on any part of the wheelchair or try to move it without first asking for and then receiving permission. People in manual chairs are often moved without people asking for their permission which robs the person of their independence, and it is a violation of their personal space.
Speak in your normal voice directly to the person with whom you are conversing. If there is someone accompanying the person with the wheelchair, and they are a part of the conversation, communicate with them but do not direct your attention or conversation solely to that person. And do not ask that person questions regarding the person with the wheelchair. Assume the person with the wheelchair can speak for themselves unless otherwise told.
If you are unsure about proper terminology ask them for guidance. The same rule applies for assistance. If you are unsure whether they need assistance, ask them.They will best know what they need, and if, or how, you can help.
People with disabilities are often called “courageous”, “inspirational”, “brave”, and/or “special” but steer away from these words. You may be amazed at how people with disabilities have adjusted but using a wheelchair is their reality and most people with disabilities will tell you that they have adjusted to the barriers life has thrown their way, much like you having adjusted to barriers within your own life.
Remember that in all interactions intention rules. There are those who use all the right words and mean it in all the wrong ways, and there are those who say all the wrong words and mean it in all the right ways. It is fairly easy to recognize when people have good intentions, and most people with disabilities understand that people can be nervous or unsure about how to interact so they tend to go by the overall intention of the conversation or interaction. If your intention is good the interaction should be a success.
